Week 11 Story: The Amusement Park



One day Jeremy a small town college boy decided to go to the amusement park with a couple of his college buddies. They walked into six flags in san Antonio Texas and were taken back by the size of the rides. He and his friends rode a bunch of rides and then braked for lunch. They were sitting down enjoying their meal and Jeremy just had this constant feeling that something interesting would happen that day. They finish lunch and went back to riding some of the biggest roller coasters in the country.
While waiting in line Jeremy started talking with a cute girl a few rows over, her name was Erin. They broke apart in the line when Jeremy had just gotten on the ride superman when he looked back down into the line and saw Erin again who was the cutest girl he had ever seen. She was almost glowing in the hot Texas sun, with the wind blowing through her hair. She had the cutest laugh Jeremy had ever heard. At that moment he knew he wanted to talk to her more only one problem, he was already strapped into the ride. He tried to get out but then the cart started moving. He sucked it up and went on with the ride, when he came back to the start the girl was gone. Jeremy was distraught he had to find her.
He looked down the park a little bit and saw Erin getting onto a ride. He rushed towards the ride but by the time he got there the ride had started. He would get on another with his friends and the same thing kept happening. Every time he was on a ride she wasn’t and vice versa.  This continued for the rest of the day and Jeremy never was able to re- connect and talk with Erin who he was in so much awe over. Jeremy and his friends had to leave the park ad Jeremy would always wonder what Erin truly enjoyed in life, or what Erin did.. And they never met because they always seemed to be one hundred eighty degrees apart.


(Image is of an amusement park. Source: Park)

Authors Notes:
The story that my story was derived from was  The Boy in the Moon. This story came from the Alaskan legends section of the Native American Stories. This was a very interesting story where there use to be four brothers that had a sister. They were friends with a boy. then one day the boy fell for the girl. One day the girl saw a ladder and decided to ascend it. With this the girl started to float away. the boy saw this and started to run after her but could never catch her. The girl became the sun and the boy became the moon. that is why if you ever notice the sun and moon are always chasing and opposing each other. no matter what the moon can never catch the sun. and whenever the moon is weak the sun gives it more. The plot that i got from this was that no matter how fast you chase those you love, you may never catch them, but no matter how far you are from them you can still help them as the girl helps the boy when he is low on energy.

Comments

  1. Rose BlushApril 7, 2019 at 4:10 PM

    Hi Drew,
    I liked your story. It is an interesting re-telling. In your first sentence, I think you could change small town college boy to "who was from a small college town" or something of the like as it is a little bit awkward at the moment. Poor Jeremy, who could never find Erin. Good job on the story. It was an enjoyable quick read.
    Have a good week and rest of the semester.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lance JohnsonApril 8, 2019 at 9:54 AM

    Hey Drew,

    Great retelling of the original story! I have not read that story, but your version of it here definitely helps me visualize and understand the source material. It's always a pleasure to come back to your blog and see awesome pieces of literary work. Overall, you did great, and I hope you continue to bless us with your writing ability.

    Best of luck!
    -Lance J.

    ReplyDelete
  3. L Christina MApril 11, 2019 at 5:12 PM

    Hi Drew,

    I love the picture that you used at the end of your story. I didn't have a chance to read the Alaskan Legends myths but might actually have to go back and do so after reading your story. I really like that you were able to modernize your story. This is one of my favorite forms of storytelling. I think it's super cool to be able to take a traditional tale and incorporate contemporary aspects and ideals to make a completely new story. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bianca MApril 22, 2019 at 9:41 AM

    Hello, Drew!

    I am not a big fan of romance in stories, but that does not mean that I cannot appreciate a good story when I read one! I really liked how you tied Jeremy and Erin’s modern story to the folklore it was inspired by!

    You wrote a fantastic story! Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete

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