Week 2 Story: Man Learns about Humility
Eric was up admiring the great statue of an Indian killing a
bear up in the beautiful mountains of British Columbia. Suddenly from behind
the statue a great grizzly bear appeared from the woods. Walking calmly towards
eric the bear asks, “What are your thoughts of this statue?”
Eric replied in shock to the bear “I believe it shows how
man has become more powerful than nature, and this is still true to this day.”
The bear laughs as he walks around eric, saying if man is so powerful then you
will be able to prove it right now in a fight against me. Eric taken back nervously,
but kind of with a chip on his shoulder responds of course I could beat you in
a fight right now.
The two look at each other calmly and nod their heads, and
the fight begins. The bear charges towards eric and ferociously taking a swipe
towards his face, barely nicking his cheek. Eric jolts back in shock and then
runs full speed towards the bear who knocks eric to the ground once again. Eric
realizing there is no way he can defeat the bear on his own looks towards the
statue. Eric starts calmly walking away and the bear says “so I guess this
means nature is more powerful after all?” The bear begins to charge eric and
with seconds to spare eric darts out of the way and the bear collides into the
statue breaking it into small pieces. While the bear is still dazed from the big
collision eric takes one of the long shank like pieces and stabs it into one of
the bears legs. The bear roars in agony as he is infuriated. The bear pounces
onto eric and pins him down. Just as the bear is about to end it all he looks
down at the man in fear and realizes if he does this, then he is no better than
the man.
Each of them was letting their ego get in the way. The bear gets off the
man and runs into the woods. Eric gets up with the sign of struggle on his body,
and his mind struggling to wrap around the events that just took place. Eric begins
the slow walk to his truck going into deeper thought of the meaning of what
just happened.
Eric looked at the broken statue and thought to himself “I have
failed, because I let my pride get in my way which made me look like a fool in
the fight.”
(picture is of a bear, which I think relates to the story, Bear)
Author’s Notes
This story was written as an addition to Aesop’s story about
the lion and the statue. Though I changed the lion character to a bear. This
story ended abruptly so there was no final result to the fight. That is the meaning of the story above is to
show the ending of the story, and to show how pride gets in the way of clear
thoughts and caring for others.
The Man Learns Humility
By: Sam Engler
Hi Drew,
ReplyDeleteWow, I really like how actually described a fight in this story in comparison to the original fable. I don't know if you were going for this, but the fact that the bear runs into the statue and gets hurt by the actual statue it was making fun of in the first place is very ironic. However, I do wonder what would have happened if the bear had killed the man. The story would have just ended then without anyone learning a lesson other than the factor that statues are usually made. I also really liked the ending; it was definitely not what I was expecting. What if you had made the fight between them more concise or you could even space it out? I just kind of got lost. This could also make the story read easier. There are little grammatical mistakes in your story. You just forgot to capitalize some of the words, but other than that, everything else looks very good!
Can't wait to read more!
Anhthu
Hey, Drew!
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that you weren't afraid to stray from the original story that you retold. If I'm being honest, I think the fact that it ends with no clear victor almost makes it more poignant. Your version highlights how both sides of history can allow themselves to be blinded by pride and ego -- nobody is perfect. If you have some time, read back over it and check for little things like capitalization and punctuation. Good luck with your next story!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDrew,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the way you adapted this story and made it your own. The change of scene was very thoughtful, and the way you brought in a new dimension of the fight between the two was a great change to make. In the original story, it seemed to resolve too quickly. I think your story is a much-needed adaptation of this story.
- JD
I liked seeing the bear and the person come to the same conclusion. It was a good way to wrap the story up after the vivid fight scene. I found myself wondering why the bear cared about being as bad as the man - I was intrigued by the idea that the bear wanted to be morally superior, since we think about people wanting to elevate themselves above animals.
ReplyDeleteOne suggestion I have is to make the dialogue a little more distinct. I found it a bit confusing in the second paragraph as I couldn't immediately tell what was dialogue and what was narration.
Hey Drew,
ReplyDeleteWow I absolutely loved this story. You did such a great job of engaging the readers and holding their interest throughout the story as the story develops. I wonder if there would be some ways to add to the character development a bit. Could you maybe give some background on how the bear and the human are able to communicate? Or perhaps leaving that out gives more of a folktale like vibe to the story? Either way is great. I think your story had a powerful moral. I love how you took the theme from the original story and truly made it your own. I think it would be cool to add some more descriptive detail in the beginning regarding your setting. That would be a great way to really put your reader there in the scene to see the beauty of nature that is present in British Columbia. Great work!
-Andy
Hello, Drew!
ReplyDeleteI was really impressed by the story you wrote! I honestly did not think that the man would go through with the fight with the bear, especially considering the fact that he did not have any tools with him to assist him. I really liked how the bear tried to be the better person in the story and let the man live.